Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Let's make a deal...

Here's a rhetorical question, a cheap device often used to open a discussion where the answer is already known, or at least that how I use them.

Is wearing a professional jersey the mark of a poser?

Number One Son says that doing so is a way of defining oneself as a tool. He says that about wearing a jersey from a cycling team, yet he sees nothing wrong with wearing a professional football jersey with the name and number of a current player. Most football and baseball fans seem to accept this as a normal outward sign of fandom. Remember, 'fan' is merely a short form of 'fanatic'.

Why would cycling fans be any different? In some circles, cyclists who wear team kit are sneeringly referred to as posers and worse. Are they any different from football fans? I don't think so. But it's ludicrous for a two hundred pound guy to wear the polka dot climber's jersey. At least I wouldn't do it because I climb with all the grace and elan of a cement truck with bad spark plugs.

Still, I wouldn't wear a professional jersey from a current team, but I'd certainly wear a jersey from a long defunct one. I consider that doing homage to the history and tradition of our sport. So I'd have no problem wearing that Molteni jersey I discovered at the local Goodwill store...if it fit. I have to admit, though, that those world champion stripes would look a little bit odd on a slightly overweight, middle-aged guy.

Let's make a deal.

Which brings us around to today's idea. Just like it says up at the top, let's make a deal. I'm not going to sell the Molteni jersey and frankly I doubt that Mary would look kindly on it if I were to enshrine it on the wall, so I'm thinking about using it for bartering. And I'm looking to give it to one of you in exchange. Now remember, this is an Italian size XL. I usually wear an XL, but this fits as if it were at least one size smaller. I tried it on and now I know what it feels like to be a sausage. Eventually, the seams would break if I wore it. This jersey is in excellent condition without any signs of wear. It's a synthetic fabric, not wool like the 70s original.

So here's the deal – I like shiny objects, old books, old tools, old cameras, and old bike stuff. Hmmm. It seems the dominant theme is 'old'. If you have some old junk interesting curiosities for trade, write something about them in comments, or use the email contact in my profile. Let's limit this to small stuff that won't cost much to ship, because while I'd love an antique VAR wheel truing stand, shipping one of those cast iron wonders would be prohibitive. If you have a good story to go along with your item, so much the better. If the story is wildly improbable, highly imaginative, and raises suspicions of out and out fabrication, it's better still. Be creative.

This deal is limited to the United States and Canada due to shipping charges. I'll pay to ship my goods. You'll pay to ship yours. Deal? My family members are prohibited from participation, as are any employees of CycleDog International – a corporation bent on global domination, various extraterrestrials, and Dr. Walter Crankset, including all his aliases.

If this turns out to be popular, I'll do it from time to time as things appear in the thrift store and local garage sales.

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Blogger Ike said...

I have a nipple wrench that was used just prior to the XXXVIII Super Bowl half time show. It is in excellent condition as any Fanatic can contest and is a true memento of our times. Just think what would have happened had the nipple wrench not been used. Physical damage and maybe even the loss of a nipple! Even Justin Timberlake would have to agree that the loss of a nipple is more than just a malfunction.

What history! and it all stored in a small insignificant looking nipple wrench.

10:39 PM  
Blogger James said...

"I like shiny objects, old books, old tools, old cameras, and old bike stuff"

Well, I have plenty of all that old stuff. How about an old Nikon FG body with a messed up sensor? Tempting, right? If that doesn't work, I have an extra copy of the book Bicycling Science, second edition from the early 80s. Or how about a copy of Tom Cuthbertson's "Bike Tripping" from a library cast off sale.

And the shiny parts are too numerous to list. My parts bins overfloweth.

7:46 AM  
Blogger lemmiwinks said...

Couldn't agree more about not wearing a current pro teams colours. I've just purchased my first jersey and took great pains to get a plain one (it was also cheaper). I don't actually wear lycra while cycling, but I might dabble in a bit of local racing and if I blend in clothing-wise my woeful performance will be less obvious to the casual observer than if I'm in my usual baggy shorts and tee shirt.

I have two busted Shimano 3S internally geared hubs (not a 333, it's clearly marked 3S). If you can scrounge some pawls they'll be fine, probably not very tempting though. They come with one bellcrank and two pushrods.

How about two copies of "Australian Cyclist" magazine (yeah, I'm in Australia but a cool jersey is a cool jersey and I've got to try). A fluffy Koala toy? Fluffy Kangaroo toy? A Koala toy wearing an academic gown? Some cheesy Australiana? All of the above?

I promise to give the jersey a loving home.

5:11 PM  
Blogger The donut guy said...

Ed, lemme look around.....off the top of my head, I have a first gen 1 gig iPod Nano, that started out with about 12 hours of run time that is down to about 9 hours runtime (the batteries wear out over time), assorted cycling books and a lots of 26" mountain bike tires....I used to be a tire junkie:-)

6:15 AM  

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