Monday, December 03, 2012

One week after surgery

I never expected to be sharing these with my daughter," I said, dubiously eyeing the packet of menstrual pads.  I'd just returned from the doctor's office after he removed the catheter.  I was thoroughly sick of the thing.  Wearing pads to deal with minor leaks is definitely better. 

It was a long week.  The pain ebbed rapidly, and the only difficulty I had was in getting up and down or coughing.  For the first couple of days, I slept only on my back as rolling onto either side was painful.  That improved quickly and I slept better, though the catheter tethered me to one side of the bed.

Frankly, I was concerned that removing the catheter would hurt.  Dr. Milsten told me to take a deep breath and let it out slowly.  While I was thus occupied, he slipped the catheter out painlessly.  

So far this morning, I've discovered that both bending and coughing produce leaks.  When my abdominal muscles tighten, my bladder leaks, so it would probably be a good idea to avoid belly laughs.  (Note to self: Don't write anything funny this week!)

Duchess the Wonder Dog is snoozing right next to the couch as I write this.  I'll make lunch, and then the two of us will go out for a walk.  She'll like that.  So will I. 

Tomorrow I start Kegel exercises to strengthen my sphincter muscles and get better control.  Besides helping with incontinence, they're supposed to help with hemorroids and increase blood flow to the penis, the latter a "major element in penis enlargement."  If I'd only known!  I'm a middle-aged white guy so I need all the help I can get!  Maybe I can join old Smiling Bob in those Enzyte commercials, assuming he managed to stay out of jail, of course.

 Upcoming events:  In three weeks, I'll be tested for PSA again.  That will continue for five years.  Also, Dr. Milsten gave me a return-to-work date of December 24th.  Merry Christmas, grumble, grumble.  I'm expecting to take vacation time (one of the perks of being an old fart is lots of vacation time!) so I'll go back to work in January.


Blogger Steve A said...

Duchess probably thinks you smell more interesting lately, so you are brightening up the lives do creatures great and small. Just sayin'

5:38 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home