Wednesday, June 11, 2008

And now a word from our sponsors...

Note that Bob, a stylishly dressed cyclist, is wearing 'old school' cycling gloves and oh-so-trendy leather pants - perfect for hot afternoon rides on his vintage fixed gear conversion. However, his significant other, Madge (green dress) is somewhat put off by the foul odors wafting up from his gloves. (Image from

Do you have difficulty staying hydrated on long bike rides because your gloves stink and you can't bear to bring them near your face?

Does your spouse insist you remove them outside and leave them there? Preferably downwind so they don't remove the paint from the siding?

Do local kids beg for your old gloves when they need catfish bait?

You just may have funky glove syndrome!

Don't despair! We can help!

Introducing Glove Ree-New! A radical approach to combating those nasty, funky glove odors.

Dr. Walter Crankset, Professor Emeritus of the Physics and Cosmetology Department at the University of Southern North Oklahoma extension campus at Broken Elbow, developed this exciting new product to eliminate funky glove syndrome. This patented process uses ions that lock onto odor and break it down, rendering it harmless. What's more, the effect lasts for days!

Order now and we'll include a bonus can of Glove Ree-New! That's 2 cans for the price of one!

But wait, there's more! If you order in the next 30 minutes, we'll send you a free can of Fritz Spritz, Dr. Crankset's miracle taint remover! This amazing product eliminates road rash, saddle sores, cuts, scrapes, stains, and even repels mosquitoes! (Use as directed. Not legal for sale in red states.)

Dont' miss this incredible offer! Call now!

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Blogger Ron said...

where do i sign..

11:06 PM  
Blogger Warren T said...

Aren't those made by the same people that put out Archibald Pennybacher's patented underwear liners? You gotta love that fresh scent of cedar shavings...

6:58 PM  

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