Zero Water Update
In November of last year, I posted this about Zero Water:
I was in Home Depot this afternoon. A salesman offered a small cup of water from his Zero water filtration system, and showed me the difference between tap, bottled, and filtered water. His gadget looks like an electronic thermometer, but he says it measures the "stuff" in the water. He wasn't exactly sure what the "stuff" was, but he could measure it. Naturally, the Zero system measured...you guessed it...zero. All the other water was between 90 and 170 on the stuff-o-meter.
Naturally, I made more snarky comments. My purpose in writing about this today is to re-visit that post, update some information, and frankly, apologize to all of you for getting it so wrong.
A few months ago, I found our salesman hard at work flogging Zero Water again. This time, I asked him to fill a water bottle for me to try. He did so quite graciously. I drank from it absently as I wandered around the store, and then stuck it in the water bottle cage on the Centurion for the ride home. I forgot to remove it from the bike until later that night.
That evening, I went out to the garage for something or other, remembered the water bottle, and brought it into the kitchen intending to empty it into the sink. Our elderly chihuahua trotted along to watch. He's blind in one eye, neutered, and due to an unfortunate accident involving a runaway vacuum cleaner, walking around on only three legs. We call him Lucky.
Anyway, Lucky had his blind side toward me and I tripped over him. The water bottle bounced off the counter top and the contents soaked the dog. He was terrified! Lucky ran to Lyndsay's room and refused to come out from under the bed until we offered his favorite treat, steak and eggs and a Budweiser. He seemed fine and we didn't think much more about it.
Over the next couple of weeks, Lucky ate much, much more than usual. He looked muscular, and we were astounded to see that his leg appeared to be regenerating! A tiny pink doggie foot appeared on the end of the stump. It grew rapidly into a fully functional leg! Even more astonishing, he regained the sight in his lost eye.
Just this week, we found out that Lucky is the proud papa of several new litters of puppies in the neighborhood.
So, folks, I was entirely wrong about Zero Water. It was important to set the record straight.
I had a vasectomy many years ago. I wonder if....
Labels: satire
3 Comments:
Hilarious! I knew there was such a thing as miracle water. I'm off to get some for myself!
(Found your blog on Blog Oklahoma, by the way.)
Signed,
Chubby Chihuahua
Welcome! I like Blog Oklahoma too since it links all of us. But if you're interested, there's a link to my list on Bloglines over on the sidebar. I don't get a chance to read all of them every day, but it's useful for the various search functions and the links to Gizmodo and Boing Boing.
I'm gonna have to try some of that miracle water, too. Do you think it'll make me a faster cyclist? Will it mask the effects of doping?
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