Thursday, July 24, 2008

Road Lice (Updated)

Now, please remember that our anonymous author - let's call her Emily - is supposedly an overweight, middle-aged woman well past her prime, and she's writing for a website that gets more than a little breathless over the likes of Britney, Angelina, Amy, and the rest. This really strikes me as pathetic; envy and anger coming from the chubby, unattractive girl who wasn't invited to the party, yet shows up outside, nose pressed to the window glass. Cyclists are a traditional focus for free-floating hostility, so it's only natural that this bitter woman would unload on us.

(Update - the author of this screed is one Julie Burchill, a woman "renowned for her invective and often contentious prose" according to Wikipedia. The author of the original webpage, Miss Provocateur, has asked for an apology in the comments section. She will not receive one, and my explanation for that is in comments also.....Ed)

Excerpts follow


Way back in 1998, scientists reported that the more a man rode a bicycle, the greater his chance of becoming impotent...

Is this the reason cyclists often seem so vile-tempered? (The men, that is: the ladies tend to be more civilised, as per usual.) All that spitting and swearing and knocking down tots and oldsters alike with their determination to dominate both pavement and road. Doesn’t it rather smack of a monstrous regiment of Mr Softees seeking to impose their masculinity on the road in away they’ve failed to in bed?

Cyclists are hypocrites because they hate drivers - yet they are drivers! Albeit drivers with extreme prejudice. Two wheels good; four wheels bad...

...Cyclists, as they never tire of letting us know, are in so many ways superior to the rest of us. Indeed, they’re so very caring and responsible that we non-cyclists should be truly ashamed of ourselves for even existing.

I'll give Emily points for the 'road lice' bit. It's the first time I've come across this one.

And finally, there's this:

"Cyclists, as they never tire of letting us know, are in so many ways superior to the rest of us."

Yes, Emily, we are. And we're superior human beings in ways you cannot imagine. If the above was supposed to come across as hip and edgy, well, you kinda missed. If I'd written it, I wouldn't put my name on it either.


Blogger Bob said...

She sounds as if she is an intellectually challenged person with a posterior orifice too large to fit a bicycle seat. And lets not forget over flowing with envy.

2:47 AM  
Blogger The Unabashed Blogger said...

Envy!? Sounds like she's envious of the whole world. That can't be healthy...

10:07 AM  
Blogger Hottie said...

I’m looking forward to have you read the entire article or just the introduction and
pay attention to the fact that I am not an author of this book and that I only took
fragments from it on some issues that were very bitterly written by Julie Burchill.
You should probably look up on Google who she is.

I guess my mistake was in not stating it clear enough that those words and beliefs do
not belong to me.

I would also appreciate an apology.


Miss Provocateur

View your comments and my responses on

12:08 AM  
Blogger Ed W said...

The original post did not clearly identify Julie Burchill as the author of this screed. The webpage has been updated.

I'm sure you'd appreciate an apology, but I won't offer one. You've chosen to hide behind a pseudonym. You've posted sloppy work intended to provoke people while hiding behind that anonymity.

Cyclists encounter hostile, anonymous people every day, people who use their vehicles and their presumed superiority on our roads in an attempt to harass and intimidate us. I will not give them a free pass, nor will I grant one to you.

9:21 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home