Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Gosh, it's cold this morning...

It's called cold induced rhinitis, or as motorists commonly wonder, why do cyclists leave a trail of slime like two-wheeled garden slugs in loud clothing? You have to do something with all that snot, otherwise you end up looking like a woman I saw in a cyclocross race who had (I am not making this up) at least a foot-long booger hanging from her nose. And yes, she had just lapped me at the time, so it's likely that I looked even worse.

Besides our sartorial splendor, cyclists have to deal with runny noses when it's cold. There's no easy way to use a handkerchief, so we resort to snot rockets. it may be uncouth, but, well, it is what it is.

So with that thought in mind, some snot rocket haiku (just to annoy Fritz!):

It's not haiku

Haiku, haiku, wheeze
Eyes water and nose running
Snot rocket machine

What's that on my arm?
A band of gooey mucus
Must improve my aim

Stoplight snot rocket
Two shots on the cold pavement
Driver looks aghast

Ride below freezing
Icicles form on mustache
Only some is ice

(snicker)

It's snot haiku.

6 Comments:

Blogger jasonk said...

The bad thing is when you're riding behind someone who launches a snot rocket. That can be PRETTY bad.

7:33 AM  
Blogger lemmiwinks said...

I've never really got the hang of them (we call it a "bushie blow" down here). I usually get my hankie out of my pocket and blow my nose properly even though it means slowing to a crawl. Since I'm only commuting it just means that I won't set a new PB. Because I also get seasonal allergic rhinitis I'm pretty good at fishing a hankie out of my pocket while rolling along.

3:28 PM  
Blogger mupedalpusher said...

Yuk! My husband and all the men in his family blow snot rockets and I hate being down wind! I am not grossed out by much but I am not a big fan of this ritual, but to each his own. I too commute so I tend to use a kleenex of my sleeve. Most of the year I'm stuffy so it's never much of an issue with me anyway.

3:40 PM  
Blogger Ed W said...

I learned the art of snot rockets when I was very young. There were a bunch of old guys who hung out on a bench outside of Brown's News. They were all retired and whiled away the time by swapping lies, trading knives, and teaching us kids some useful words that we couldn't use at home. And they taught us how to shoot snot rockets too.

5:38 PM  
Blogger Yokota Fritz said...

I suppose I owe you a link. I'm gotten pretty good with the farmer blows.

3:40 PM  
Blogger Ethan said...

"Drive looks aghast." Oh man, that is the TRUTH.

2:08 PM  

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