Sunday, December 31, 2006

2007: Now what?

Here's a traditional year's end chestnut, a post about resolutions and predictions for the New Year. I can't avoid giving this a bit of personal spin from a cyclist's perspective. I try to hit a balance between optimism and hope, and a more realistic view that doesn't slide into cynicism.

Resolution: I will strive mightily to avoid doing something stupid in the coming year. That runs the gamut from avoiding doing something stupid in traffic to avoiding saying something stupid to anyone in the immediate area. If I could bite my tongue and choke back some of the more obvious stupidities that spring from my mouth like toads, life around the house would be better.

Prediction: I will undoubtedly do something stupid in the coming year, and what's more, I'll write about it. After all, if I'm going to have some bad moments, I have to share them. And if those of you reading this get a few laughs from it, so much the better.

Resolution: I will try to talk less and listen more. This is a perennial favorite, and I've actually had some success with it, mostly at work.

Prediction: Toads will still leap from my mouth from time to time.

Resolution: I will make a Herculean effort to be nice to those few motorists who treat me badly, despite their bad attitudes, spotty personal hygiene, familial in-breeding, and intelligence rivaling that of small kitchen appliances. I will overlook their shortcomings, both intellectual and anatomical, and refrain from making rude comments on them. In this, there is some chance I will fail.

Prediction: The motoring public will continue to have a minority who view cyclists as a nuisance, to be endangered whenever possible, honked at, sideswiped, and otherwise harassed. Though there isn't any scientific basis for my hypothesis, I believe this occurs because stupid people breed faster than intelligent ones, and that stupidity may really be a dominant gene. I am afflicted with it myself now and then, though this may be hard to believe.

Resolution: I will get my weight under 200 pounds.

Prediction: Yeah, right, pudgy boy. Have you ever met a cookie you DIDN'T like?

Resolution: I will do preventive maintenance, fixing things before they fall apart, lubricating before the squeaks begin, and replacing those inner tubes that seem to be composed entirely of patches. I will remember to carry spare batteries for my lights.

Prediction: I'll have a flat tire on a dark road. My lights will slowly go dim, and the spare batteries will be dead.

Resolution: I will carry some biscuits for those dogs that chase me on occasion, hoping that by doing so they'll look forward to meeting a cyclist who hands out goodies and that their behavior will change.

Prediction: For those dogs that won't change, I'll fantasize about carrying the .45 ACP. That'll learn 'em.

Resolution: I'll ride more and drive less. As it is now, I ride to work most days. So if I expect to ride more, it means riding for pleasure on the weekends, doing some regional tours, and even the local time trial series (if it makes a re-appearance this season).

Prediction: Jordan will get his driver's license this year, and there's a good chance my Ford will be gone in the spring. I won't have much choice but to ride more.

Resolution: Tonight's party will be one to remember!

Prediction: I'll be asleep in bed by 10:30.


Blogger Fritz said...

Happy New Year to you, Ed. Thanks for all the wonderful posts over this past year.

11:57 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home