(Image from Double Speak)
Mary and I were wandering through a local discount store earlier today. I was looking for cheap tools, electronic adapters, and some cooking stuff for Lyndsay. I found a nice bamboo cutting board for five bucks. An aisle or two away, a mother tried to herd three small children while she shopped. The kids were probably bored and they were getting a little rambunctious. Then I heard this.
"MOM! HANNA FARTED!"
It was loud enough to be heard throughout the store.
"MOM! SHE FARTED REAL LOUD -- LIKE THIS!" The kid blew out a long withering raspberry. "AND IT REALLY STINKS!"
Mom said, "Come on, we're leaving." She tried to round up the kids and get them moving, but junior was not to be deterred. He recognized an outstanding opportunity when he saw it.
"MOM! I FARTED TOO, BUT NOT LIKE HANNA'S."
Hanna, meanwhile, had managed to remove both of her shoes, neither of which could be seen anywhere nearby. She was obviously determined to remove her socks too, but they weren't being very cooperative.
"MOM! SHE'S DOING IT AGAIN!"
Mom had had enough. She scooped up each kid, one by one, dropped them into a shopping cart, and wheeled them out the door as quickly as possible. A lone sock lay forlornly in the aisle. It's doubtful that Hanna and her shoes were re-united.