BROKEN ELBOW METEOR NEWS
BROKEN ELBOW, OKLAHOMA
Yesterday, the Broken Elbow Meteor News reported that Dr. Walter Crankset had been selected as Barack Obama's running mate. As the crack investigative reporters on the News have learned in the last 24 hours, this information is false. When contacted, the Obama campaign denied that Dr. Crankset had been chosen, and furthermore, they went on to say that they had never heard of him previously.
Dr. Crankset adamantly refused to confirm the campaign's statement, insisting that Obama campaign insiders had offered him the position in exchange for $500. "And that's twice what Dick Cheney paid for his job!" said Dr. Crankset. "With me, you'll get twice the vice president! At least you can find me." Dr. Crankset said he would continue campaigning until Democratic nominee Barack Obama personally called on him to stop, but admitted that without financial backing, traveling the campaign trail would have to be limited.
Dr. Crankset announced that in lieu of air travel, he would campaign from the seat of a bicycle. When contacted, the Secret Service would neither confirm nor deny that they were suppling protective services for Dr. Crankset.
The Broken Elbow Meteor News will be following Dr. Crankset throughout the fall.