The art of urban camoflage

Floppy straw hat? Check. Black framed 'birth control' glasses? Check. Loud Hawaiian shirt that some may find offensive? Check. De rigueur camera around neck? Check. Not shown: Plaid Bermuda shorts, black socks and Converse Chuck Taylors? Check, check, and check.

This is how you can disappear in a crowd. You can stand there taking photos and people will quite literally never see you. If you inadvertently walk into a men's wear store, the entire staff will break and run like a covey of quail. And if you're somehow Shanghai'd into going shopping with your significant other, you can follow her around and stand nearby while she shops. Very shortly, she'll get an attack of the vapors and insist that you go home.

I only look like an idiot.