Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Left wing secret decoder ring

I'm going to let you in on a major secret - one that I'm sure you won't reveal to anyone else because there's only about a dozen readers for CycleDog anyway.

For years now, I've been part of the Left Wing Liberal Media, or LWLM for short. But I've never been a person who believes in secrecy and conspiracy as a means of pursuing our goals, so I've decided to come clean.

I'm going to tell you how the secret decoder ring works.

It's really quite simple, so simple that I'm surprised it hasn't come to light before now. The decoder ring uses a simple transposition code. A=A, B=B, C=C, etc. Yes, it really is that simple! So the coded phrase "Donald Trump has no chance of being elected to the presidency" translates as "Donald Trump has no chance of being elected to the presidency." "Sarah Palin is a gold-digging grifter" translates to "Sarah Palin is a gold-digging grifter."

This is diabolically clever! The right cannot believe that these simple phrases actually mean no more than they say, so they look for deeper, hidden meanings within them. And like an ink blot, they find what they most want to find, things like: "Liberals hate America!" "Liberals are in league with terrorists!" or - my personal favorite - "Liberals are afraid of Glenn Beck!"

So as an example of the tremendous power in the secret decoder ring, let's translate this phrase: "A serious commitment to deficit reduction requires a serious commitment to both sides of the issue -spending cuts and tax increases." It may be a good idea to stand well away from any conservatives you know when this phrase is decoded as their heads may explode.

The survivors, of course, will accuse you of being a bomb-throwing gay socialist radical from Kenya.



Blogger Steve A said...

"...a bomb-throwing gay socialist radical from Kenya."

You are? Do you have a birth certificate that proves it? Does SWMBO know this? I must say, this DOES explain a lot of film camera posts...

8:08 PM  
Blogger Ed W said...

I figured you'd chomp on that one, Steve!

This actually started on a local forum, where someone was posting-while-intoxicated over the weekend. He accused all of us of being liberals, including 'Tony', a guy who's as right-wing as they come. I offered him a decoder ring since he'd left the dark side. He says he'll pick it up at the next meeting.

8:13 PM  
Blogger Duncan Watson said...

I strongly suspect you have more than a dozen readers. You never know how many lurkers you have.

8:23 PM  
Blogger lemmiwinks said...

From the mercifully small amount I've seen of Glenn Beck I think that everyone should be afraid of him! He's nuttier than a pecan pie.

5:12 PM  

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