Tesla Roadster and James Martin

Twenty minutes into my test drive I pulled round a leafy bend, enjoying the birdsong - and spotted those damned Spider-Man cyclists. Knowing they wouldn't hear me coming, I stepped on the gas, waited until the split second before I overtook them, then gave them an almighty blast on the horn at the exact same time I passed them at speed.

The look of sheer terror as they tottered into the hedge was the best thing I've ever seen in my rear-view mirror.

James Martin, on driving the Tesla Roadster, the "the all-electric supercar that's as fast as a Ferrari."

Let's cut to the chase. James Martin is an idiot.

Martin should not be trusted with anything more powerful than a riding lawn mower if this is an example of his driving. Worse, as a journalist, he's in a position to influence other morally challenged drivers by his poor example. Gleefully running someone off the road isn't the act of a rational human being. It's the act of a sociopath.

Let's look at this another way. If someone walked up to you on the street swinging a baseball bat at your head, he would quite rightly be charged with assault. It's a felony. In simple terms that even Martin can understand, convicted felons deserve jail time. If a baseball bat is a weapon, surely a Tesla Roadster is simply a bigger one. Since Mr. Martin has already publicly confessed to committing an assault, perhaps those cyclists will come forward and bring charges. It's only right.

Let's hope that Tesla Motors exercises a little better judgment the next time they loan out a car to a journalist. In this case, it was like handing a loaded pistol to a twelve-year-old.