Christmas pitch

Just in time for Christmas! It's the one cycling accessory that EVERYONE
needs!

Act now and get your very own "Suzie Voodoo" doll! Yes, now you too can
engage in sympathetic magic by sticking pins, toothpicks, broken spokes, or
other sharp implements into the voodoo doll of your choice.

Available in two sizes: Standard Size, suitable for hanging on a wall,
attaching to a toolbox, or staked out on your local railroad tracks; or the
Convenient Travel Size, perfect for carrying on your bicycle when you just
have to act quickly, inflicting well-deserved pain on a wayward motorist or
pedestrian. Both models are molded from high-density industrial foam, and
unlike cheap plastic imitations that can crack or shatter, they'll stand up
to repeated punching, stabbing, and mauling. (Impalement tools not
included).

Watch how our product tester, Inga, pounds on her "Suzie Voodoo" doll with a brick! Inga kept it up for twenty minutes and Suzie emerged without a scratch! Inga stood on the roadside, hacking at her "Suzie Voodoo" doll with a machete for another 10 minutes. When the police arrived, Suzie was still in perfect condition! What a doll!

Call right now, and we'll include the "Johnnie Wacko" doll, Suzie's voodoo
boyfriend, at no extra charge! And that's not all! With each doll set,
we'll give you a detailed instruction book, two sets of doll-size handcuffs,
and a miniature battery-operated pit bull terrier. You'll have hours of
fun, so don't delay! Call today!

(Offer void where prohibited. Not available in CA, NYC, Canada, or Ramona,
Oklahoma.)