Ask Dr Wally...

Dear Dr. Wally

I read an article that urged readers to try nude photography. I enjoy both bicycling and photography. Since it was a relatively warm winter day, I stripped off my clothes, rolled the bike out of the garage, and set off for the park to take some photos.

One of my neighbors screamed and fled into her house. Some people are just overwhelmed by artistic freedom.

Some motorists honked and waved, or at least the ones that didn't rear-end the car ahead of them did.

But I do have some questions for you. Have you tried nude cycling and would you have any advice for potential nude cyclists? And can you recommend an attorney?

Incarcerated in Inola

Dear Jailbird

I have to admit that I have little experience with nude cycling. It's only happened once and it involved copious amounts of alcohol, a bachelor party where I met the woman destined to become my third or fourth ex-wife, and an ill-advised bet. I lost. Let's just leave it at that.

But I can recommend the very best attorney in Broken Elbow, and that's Chester Niebelung. He's the town bicycle and pedestrian coordinator, heads the planning and zoning commission, and sits on the school board. Remarkably, he's never been elected to any position. Instead, he's been appointed to them by a succession of public officials who owed him some favors. Chester's brother, Armand, runs the local paving company among other businesses, and it's rumored that the two brothers know where all the bodies are buried. Literally. If you hire Chester as your attorney, be sure to pay your bill on time!

Dr. Wally

Next time: Bicycling blood-sucking monkeys invade West Mifflin, Pennsylvania.